Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Katie's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 13th, 2006
7:43 pm	watching harry potter 3 with my brother in the backround (in my cool new basement) my flight leaves in 12 hrs and something like 18 minutes and im a bit nervous but all packed. its been 9 hrs since my root canal and im not numb and my brain is neither drugged up nor as foggy as before my mid afternoon nap before randall came over and watched Charmed with me. teehee. upside to root canal- no work today, lots of TV, smushy food, laughing gas downside- i want licorish and apples, work yesterday for 6 hrs, 5 hrs ago i wasnt going to leave the country at all, chance of infection in the middle of nowhere. great! so the laughing gas was great for the first like minute when i seriously laughed so hard i couldnt breathe and i was crying. then i started panicking because i couldnt control my thoughts, then during evrything i was fine just watching when harry met sally (personal dvd players in every cubicle!) then they took my off of it near the end and i panicked on the oxygen and thought i couldnt breathe because i forgot to breathe and starting choking. then my doctor told me i probley couldnt leave while my brain was pounding and i got dizzy. overall conclusion to this paragraph: not doing drugs up to this point was a very good idea. i would be in for some bad trips. wish me luck! see you in 8 days! (Comment on this)
Monday, June 5th, 2006
3:26 pm	to my knowledge it has been quite a long while since i've said hello to you all. though im not sure that many of you read anymore! LJ is so "last year" apparently, lol, but i still like it though! well, my dads leaving with my brother for a week (no dad for two weeks), the AP tests are done, choir stuff finished, childrens play seems like ages ago and in less then 24 hours half my finals will be done! isnt that awesome! though everything had gone by really quickly, im still awfully worn down from dealing with it all, but im sick of writing complain-y LJ because lately i feel like all i do is piss people off from being so gosh-darn stressed. and i hate making people mad at me so im going to try a new approach and say something happy in this post! im so excited for camp gray that im finding it hard to explain in words! but instead of just being excited and making that last untill about thursday and then loseing strength and getting frusterated like everyone else does on the last day... im going to try really hard to make the whole week the best experience that it can bve for the girls and for anne and everyone and myself. i understand that nothing is ever going to go as planned, but im trying to gather up some much needed stregth to fight my biggest fault; my lack of flexibility. actually, at camp i think im better with this then in other places in my life... just because when you have people looking up to you its hard to get flustered and then calm everyone else down from your scene. but, if i can manage to stay calm and go wit the flow at camp then its a step closer to applying it to school and home and europe and wherever else life takes me next year. hopefully tommorrow will be a great start to the end of the school year and the begginning of an awesome summer. that last sentence was quite cliche. but is it still cliche is you really believe in it? Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
9:03 pm	hi. i havnt posted in awhile. right now im in a okay mood. not good, not bad, just blah. im totally about to give up with school, except that i can't i feel like if i don't physically do all my homework and any other extra thing that could be done ill like roll up into a ball of shame or something. why cant i just relax? today my physics teacher and i got into another little spat. i dislike him as a teacher so much that it is not even believable. i hope he's a nice guy outside class to make up for it, because some people just shouldn't teach. it's sad. then i had to go in for extra help. this post is dumb. mostly i just wanted to say that i am starting to lose it. if this year doesnt end soon im going to totally freak out. and that will probley be scarey since most everyone thinks im already freaking out. college visits, concerts, awards, parents, projects, finals, rehersals, standardized tests, singing, homework!! AHHHHH!!!! how the heck does that all fit into 2 and a half weeks! i dont even know. can you explain that to me? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 8th, 2006
9:22 pm	hi. today was a not so good day. right now both sides of my mouth are numb from novacain and this morning Krissy fainted in my E period and was having a seizure and i had to call 911 and it was scary and it made me really wish that some things in life didnt happen. now i understand that in life you will always encounter things that suck and thats literally what "life" is about... but why make a 16 yr old girl go through having like 5 seizures in 2 weeks and not have anyone figure out whats wrong! i talked to her on the phone for awhile and she sounded completely exausted and downtrodden and just plain upset... then the phone hung up and im pretty sure she had another seizure while on the phone. she talked long enough to tell me not to worry (!!) and that she was alive and that she had two attacks in the ER and one in her room. this weekend was most definetly the begginning of a bad week. im trying so hard to stay in the mindset that everything will be fine and that i should be positive and everything.... but theater done for the year, church group is done for the year (and im missing the CP meeting for ensemble and Betsy's house for stupid NHS inductions im being forced to attend!!) .... what the heck am i soppose to look foward to? vaccinations on wed? an AP psych test? prom with a group i barely know? and then i think to myself and i feel selfish for being worried about idiotic things like prom or a pinprick when there is a person i care about getting jabbed by doctors and shoved into machines 5 miles away. i want to put life into perspective. why cant i just shut up and enjoy something for once in my life? this too shall pass. only 22 days. (sigh) (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 30th, 2006
2:46 pm	hello all. lately i've been in a very blue mood, its like something that i can't get rid of at all... it just clings to me wherever i go. maybe its got something to do with AP tests, and homework, and spring play, and ensemble, and family, and friends, and not enough sleep, and the stomach flu. yesterday i got really really sick at rehersal and Rose made me feel guilty for wanting to leave and basically accused me of fakeing sick since this is the second show in a row that I've gotten the flu during tech week. which was completly unfair and totally uncalled for. sometimes he is such a jerk i cant even stand it. the big question thats running through my head is if i want to try out for the state production of Les Miserables or not. doing it would mean not doing Childrens Play at all, not being able to hang out with my friends at theater fest, and having the scarifice 6 weekend from august untill january during college admissions time. Not doing means dealing with a missing an great opputunity and maybe more stress during childrens play then i would have prevouisly had. but im waiting for the retreat dates, and if any of those conflict with allstate then my choice is made, if not then ive got more trouble (plus the fact that this thing's due in like two days!) only like five more weeks left of school and i really think im going to have to muster up ALL the energy that i can find to try and make it untill June 11th. i want that day to come sooooo badly that it hurts. im so sick of everything around me that its pathetic. i just want it to wipe away clean, so everything can be new and fresh and the opposite of cioatic (sp?!) okay here's the plan... one more day and the AP eng exam is over six more days and spring play is over one more sunday and church group is done :( twelve days and then the AP psych test's done then prom, then the NHS induction, then my Knox college visit on the 20th (!!), then Red and White, then Caberay for ensemble, then my AP psych final!! here's the worst week... June 3rd SAT June 6th choir and gym final June 7th physics final June 8th drama lit final (june 9th packing!!) June 10th ACT and then finally, finally, FINALLY what is forcing me to get my sorry but out of bed in the morning!! wheeee!! i guess im off to look at some colleges. one step at a time. first thing's first... lets get this eng AP test outa the way tommorow. everything else will come. Current Mood: crazy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
7:53 pm	i havnt updated in the longest time. may because there was no time. now there is though! or atleast this week there is because ive got no spring play rehersal untill next tuesday. so i've had lots of time to think and relax and workout and study for my ACTs this week. ick for the latter of the four. this weekends going to be awesome though... worship tommorow morning at 7 with brendan, school :( dance-a-thon tommorow night (!!), IKEA on Friday, studying Sat, and for the first time in EVER my whole dad's side of the family is getting together for Easter... and my mom says i can help cook! on top of all this the most awesome part of the week was officially on monday when (after running for forever) i came home and was totally endorphined-up beyond the usual amount, and saw that im a head counselor for camp this year... with Annie R... with the 3rd graders.... in High Ridge... and i totally flipped out!! im sooooo excited!! i called anne and was like screaming to her on the phone i was so excited. and i talked to chelsea the next day at lunch and she was so surprised that she made it (lol) and was ecstatic. the only bad part (and good part) was that now thoughts of camp gray are plagueing (sp?!) my mind during school and i cant concentrate on anything except what college im going to knock off my list next and why school wont end faster so this summer can come! its going to be so awesome! but now ive got the worst headache ever. i think i might have over strained my exersise limits! lol. monday ~ i ran a half mile in gym, did hella ab work, walked a mile with my mom, and jogged 2 miles. Tuesday ~ i walked a mile with my mom and did some pilates for 20 minutes, and Wed ~ i walked a mile, jogged 3/4 during gym, and did a 20 ab workout. maybe ill do some pilates while im watching american idol. bucky better get kicked off or im about to be really really upset. ooh yeah, i broke up with kyle too. seems like something worth knowing. im shaking really bad and im not sure why. not a good sign i dont think. its kinda hard to type. im excited to meet brendan at church tommorrow, ive been meaning to go to this serveice all week and never got around to it. thats sad. sometimes i wonder if religion is one of those things in my life that always gets pushed to the backburner. not so much the activites like youth group or camp, but the personal spiritual things that i person should do, not that anyone should have to do anything specific. i dont know. my head really hurts. it better get better by tommorow so i can DANCE!!! and celebrate al's birthday!! yay 18! Current Mood: contemplative (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 19th, 2006
2:49 pm	HEY!!!! GUESS WHO'S GOING TO STATE!?!?!?? Contest Play and GI!!!! WhOOOOOOOoOoOoOO!!!! GI got straight 1's!! and we tied for 1st and ended up with 2nd... but we're still going!! Lookout Springfield and the Hilton Hotel... HF theater coming!! what happens in Illyria... goes to effffing Springfield baby!! Current Mood: ecstatic (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
8:04 pm	tell me why... that some people are born into mildly not insane families (not that any family is anywhere near normal) and i get born into one with an ignorant asshole as a father? and a not so oblivous mother?! shes flipping dirt under his shoes to him. and she knows it and yet she does nothing. i bet anyone with half a brain that the summer after my brother's outa highschool it'll be goodbye married life!! ahhhhhhhggg (sigh). on a happier note... umm? grey's anatomy is on in 40 minutes? thats all i got, sorry guys. Current Mood: crappy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
6:39 pm	okay.... hypothetically speaking, or course, what is wrong with a person who always ends up being attracted to a guy who turns out to be an asshole sometimes. is there like a disease or something for this? and if so, does anyone know a cure to fix this so that is NEVER EVER happens again? Current Mood: blah (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006
8:26 pm	hmm. (sigh) You're an Passionate Kisser For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble What Kind of Kisser Are You? Your Seduction Style: The Coquette You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. What Is Your Seduction Style? Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
3:46 pm	its been awhile... this is a boring post, also. skim down if possible. so currently my house is under construction... so someone with a jackhammer underneath me in the basement is making my chair more slowly but surely away from this computer desk, and its creppin me out. My parents and brother are in Wisconsin (?) i think this weekend skiing currently and they left me to fend for myself. I just have to say that, no im not having a party and though numerous people have stared at me with googly eyes... they're crazy. Im katie bayles, remember? haha. So after this week which was increadibly insane what with lines to be memorized, etc,etc... i THOUGHT that this weekend would be relazing and slightly entertaining. but no. ive got a spring play monologue to work on, lines to memorize, a character to master in less then 3 weeks now, SP to actually read, two english paper, psych hw (and a test friday!)... plus im home alone. and thats not fun at all when no one's around. anyway, last night after they finally let us clean out the backstage of the theater i went grocery shopping (which is surprisingly difficult and consequently forces you to think of yourself as more independent, got some gas at jewel ($$$!!), picked up alice, and got 'some sex and the city' and 'friends' at family video, and tryed for one whole hour to boil water in order to make some pasta for dinner. in the culinary department we both fail dismally might i add. kyle and adam came over and we watched SATC for awhile after making sex jokes about justin/oriane and fighting over the correct way to boil water and who got the couch. they stayed till 11 or so and then al and i just watched friends untill we could no longer keep our eyes open... but of course once the lights were off we had to be girls at a sleepover and talk and talk and talk till like 3 something in the morning.... which made waking up at 630 to shower before kyle came over to cook breakfast for oriane's birthday... quite a hassel, lemme tell ya. currently besides the crazy stressfulness of right now (and the procrastination occuring while im typing this entry)... im feeling utterly realized and confused about my current everything right now. good news? im over things, finally!! it took long enough, didn't it?! sheesh. bad news? im not equally but still kinda sorta confused about someone else. im a bad person. why do i put myself in these situations?! alice says take it slow.... man i just had major deja vu.... but its just, frusterating. goo. any opinions? im sure i didnt divuldge enough for any of this to make sense, but im sure i had, and if it did, then i... i dont even know i lost my train of thought. new problem: i think theres a murderer inside my house. i sware to god i just heard some paper shuffling or something. and the lights are flickering. omg omg omg. only i can freak out when its bright and sunny outside!! gkakgflda. someone better come over tonight or im going to die of fright. Current Mood: crazy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
5:01 pm	so... this day was going good. not wonderful but better then usual and now it sucks. really really really it just like... stinks. stinks up my whole gosh-darn good mood!! and i hate myself for it. why doesnt my timing on everything SUCK! eeeefffff love (Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
7:08 pm	ahhhhhhhhh! my brain is so jumbled and confused and i dont know why the hell my mind and my body won't connect with everything. its acting katie, acting!! this is how mad i am! im talking in frickin third person! right before the scene i get all tense and nervous like theirs butterflys in my stomach... and then when we kiss its like this lightnight bolt is shooting my from the tips of my lips to the bottum of my toes. and i can't bring myself to pull away untill the second my brain finally reaches my lips and screams katie wtf your in a scene... this is not real life, this is acting. he's acting! your acting! and i finally pull myself together. but when you have to do this over and over for atleast 5 times in a 30 minute period you get so emotionally worn out from constantly not being able to let yourself go because you know if you do you just wont be able to stop. thats the feeling. and then i feel offstage like i might vomit. yep, WONDERFUL ISNT IT?! do i even like him or do i just like that feeling? i think it might be the latter of the two, actually. because reading someone else's away message makes me want to think desperatly that this person is talking about me. he's not. and that's fine. (not really but its easier to say its fine) in a similarly related (yet merely a meaningless subject change) topic...i think im going to make pancakes thursday morning before school. we shall see how things pan out. ha... PAN out! untill then i will try and learn how to cook or nurse oriane back to health. or both. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 5th, 2006
8:14 pm	ooh yeah.... and its exactly one month untill my birthday... Sunday March 5th (the day of the academy awards!!) isnt that weird?! feb 5th and march 5th BOTH on a sunday?! is that allowed to happen?! hmmmppphmmm Current Mood: i just like this face (1 Comment |Comment on this)
8:05 pm	hi. i really dont have anything to say. i tried to watch the superbowl with the rest of ma famille but slowly but surely my eyes started drooping and i finally fell asleep during the half time show, so i retreated to my room to work off the annual football appetizer dinner with some pilates and season 5 of friends. im still going to need to run ALOT during gym tommorow though b/c im feeling sooo full. the only real reason that im still awake is that grey's anatomy is on after the game and its soppose to be an amazing episode about a "code black", which i think means there's a bomb inside someone in the O.R! eeekk! the previews look awesome and i need my weekly Doctor show fix since ER is plumitting entertainment wise. plus thursday nights are always the most inconvient times for a TV show when i should be studying or highlighting lines or what not. this game better be over soon because i want to see my show before i fall asleep on my mom again.... why are the commercials sucking so much this year? maybe cause i wasnt paying attention. Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Monday, January 30th, 2006
7:34 pm	today was alright. nothing spectacular i have to admit, and the weather was not to my exact liking as it has been frequently. after school and before rehersal i swung over to starbucks (not for coffeee... it has officially been over 7 months seen my last coffee/caribou/starbuck-y drink!) to get some tea but to my dimay they got rid of sweet orange hot tea and hot passion tea! my favorites! but, i took a chance and got some spiced cinnomen hot tea and it was awesome. not the same as my lipton spiced apple... but nothing replaces that too easily! after the whole tea incident, if you can call it an incident rehersal went moderatly well. i feel like i need to really figure out what my character is really about. im missing the depth of her personality right now and not stepping out of the box (and out of katie) enough. even with these faults, the time i spend in contest play is still the best part of the day. and the worst. i love being around the people and the literature and the discussions and all the intelligence and goofyness that exudes from everyone. i hate being so confused about my personal situations. he was different today but im not allowed to say that or act any different or most of all think that anything has changed. because it hasnt and it wont and i have to except that and stop trying to make something out of nothing. though im finding that quite difficult with everyone constantly talking about it or giving me googly eyes when he turns his back. boo my love life. you are a whore!! Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
4:02 pm	fun story... so today i was bored at carsons while waiting for my mother-dearest to try on some amazingly gorgeous (and inexpensive shoes... that wound up not fitting), i mosied (sp?!) on over to the juniors dresses department and gazed revoltingly at the racks and racks of tacky, cheap, smarkley, sequined and glittery dresses... untill something shimmery in a brilliant hue of midnight royal blue caught my eye. and it fit amazingly and I HAVE FOUND THE MOST EMACULATE (SP!?) TURNABOUT DRESS EVER... EVER EVER EVER!! the only thing wrong with it is its a bit to long so i trip on it (but whats new) and its easily shortenable. even my mom said as were were walking out of the store that the color is going to look awesome on kyle. he can either do a blue-ish shirt (if its the perfect hue which will never happen with any color blue EVER) ooorrrr he could do a silver shirt because all the accents on the dress are silver plus my accessories... which he might already have. i mean, hes kyle! he'll have a silver shirt, DUH! in other news... today's service went amazingly and im so proud of everyone though i dont think any of you know my LJ exists! some old people came up to me and congradulated me by name and i didnt even recognized them but they knew my name and it was funny. later i was a greeter and my face hurt so much from smiling so i came home and had some tea. favorite part of the morning... little anna thompson clinging to my side asking me to come home and play with her and her new baby-doll... awwww shes suck a cute little 3 yr old when shes not throwing a tantrum! Current Mood: ecstatic (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 28th, 2006
10:03 pm	blah. i need to take my LJ icon more seriously!! this week went by faster then i could ever possibly imagine. rehersal's for contest play officially started (though i only came onstage to be gazed at longingly once and then did my 10 line post-sex scene with kyle which was... interesting to say the least). hopefully once caitlin ho is not bedstricken because of the flu, we will be able to accomplish a bit more! poor baby, she called me to apologize to the cast practically in tears. in other news: the youth worship at church is tommorow, i resisted the urge to eat pizza today (which was good because i came home and there were freshly backed brownies on the table... so i had to snag atleast alittle one!), i really need to pick up my vtv achor calender, i went shopping for a turnabout dress today and scoured orland for 5 hrs to no avail... WHY is everything either staight cut, plain black, or completely tacky with sequins and glitter and stuff?! oooh yeah, i asked Kyle to turnabout! im super excited though i dont sound it right now. its going to be frickin awesome if i can find the right dress! hopefully things wont be awkward. if kissing passionatly onstage in nothing but a sheet isnt, a simple dance won't be! right?! RIGHT?! in one month and a day ill post and tell ya! tommorow i have alot of homework to do after church. and grocery shopping. i hope i dont need to memorize that song. alice ditched me for trevor again tonight. i guess dealing with hanging out with my moms on the weekend is just going to have to start being my reality, though i dont mind much. with al and oriane either with thier significant other or the latter of the two at her fathers, there's just not much room for me except during the weekdays. thats why i need a boy to fill in the space. tonight saturday night movie w/ ma famille was Forest Gump. and i just have to say that i love that movie more then anything in the world. except family, and friends, theater, etc.etc. i cried and cried at the end. but one of those crying fits where you feel happy about doing it, like a release or something. this week might have been short but that doesnt mean i wasnt completely emotionally stressed out to the max. and today at church all the staffers were making me so angry, talking and clumping together... and i think they were making fun of me for being excited about singing and hanging out with my 7th graders. i just had to suck it up, hopefully tommorow will be 100% better. im sure it will. i wish summer would come. i keep having scary dreams lately like the one last night where i woke up sobbing because i was pregnant but the baby was premature, but all of them are intermingled with awesome ones about camp and such. after all this hard work with grades (staight A's on the semester ~ whaaa whaaaaattt!?)i STILL am not top 10 percentile, im like .109 or something, which comes up to an 11% !! (sigh) only 5 and a half more months till camp gray... i just want this year to be over. Current Mood: drained (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
7:20 pm	sooooo..... today rocked. tommorow better be just as good otherwise im about to be bored!! (three happy posts in a row!! what whhhhaaaaatttt??!?!) Current Mood: energetic (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
7:43 pm	hello. right now, at this very minute... my brain and body is content with everything. i have no immediate stress nor fears to keep from sleeping soundly tonight (though my guess is that i will not sleep soundly anyways). finals are over, musical is over, i think im last post was identical to this... but im bored (i know... katie bayles?! BORED?!) but its not the type of boredum where you wish you had something to do, because i wouldnt trade my existence at this very point in time for anything. its nice not to have to worry about a paper due tommorow or in a month, or a test, or a final... or whatever. i weighed myself this morning and despite my bleak outlook for the week... i seem to have lost 5 pounds! whoot! and this morning i sang at church (and though i need to loosten up at the mike i had SOOO MUCH FUN!), then i cam home and went grocery shopping with my mommy, resisted the urge to buy grozen yogurt (yayyay the new healthy katie), AND made enough homemade valentines for every friend, enemy (not that i have any enemies), and person i don't know in HF... practically, sorta, okay only 60... but thats alot! im going to go translate somemore of Twelfth Night for rehersal tommorow (which is in the north gym.... :( but its okay because the auditorium is soppose to be done sometime the week... which in HF language means by the end of the month!!) yay to life! Current Mood: ommm ommm (ahhh) (1 Comment |Comment on this)